Def-Con Zero

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We just got word the Pentagon is addressing a major new threat to U.S. national security—wind-energy farms. That’s right, those bucolic turbines popping up across the rolling hills and plains of America are really designed to render us defenseless to an airborne invasion of the Homeland.

According to the experts in the world’s largest five-sided building, the huge turbine blades planned for the largest U.S. wind farms can deflect Air Force radar.

Presumably, this means that when another Northwest Airlines pilot flies past the Minneapolis airport because the crew is busy playing Scrabble, the F-16s the Pentagon orders up to intercept the commercial jet won’t be able to find it.

Even worse, the bad guys overseas no longer have to spend billions to try to match our Stealth technology. Apparently, they can render their airspace invisible simply by putting up dozens of big windmills. This probably explains why Holland has such a meager defense budget.

Of course, now that the U.S. Air Force has spilled the beans that turbines trump radar, it won’t be long before the Mexican drug lords build a bunch of wind farms along their favorite smuggling routes into the U.S.

There is no reason to believe the Pentagon’s move to block the $2-billion Shepherd’s Flat wind-energy project in Oregon is part of some secret global strategy to keep the U.S. addicted to fossil fuels. The military has supported alternative energy for more than 60 years: it currently is sitting on enough plutonium to power the U.S. electric grid for the next two centuries. Unfortunately, thus far the emphasis has been on megatons instead of megawatts.

We suspect today’s dire warning about the ominous turbine radar threat soon will be followed by a proactive and can-do solution from the Air Force. Before the end of the year, the Pentagon will unveil a new-generation radar system called the Clustered Array Sonar Holographic Weapons Alert Defense network.

Like other complex weapons systems, this one will become known by its acronym: CASH-WAD.

It will cost $500 billion, consist of components built in 18 states, spend 10 years in development and be canceled when a prototype deployed at the former site of the Fresh Kills landfill on Staten Island mistakes a flock of seagulls for a fleet of North Korean ICBMs.

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