Quality of life is an important consideration when deciding where to relocate or expand your business. Trying to find a community that is business-friendly and will also keep your employees happy and healthy can drive you batty. It’s got to be even more challenging if your crew drinks blood, can’t go out in the daylight, and sleeps in coffins.
Warm bodies, blood centers, and vampire-friendly dwellings (homes with basements) are among the amenities a vampire might desire in a new home. To make finding the perfect place to live less of a pain in the neck for Dracula and his ilk, Lawn Love compiled its 2023 ranking of the Best and Worst Cities for Vampires. The lawn care company also took into consideration community and entertainment factors, such as vampire groups and tours, as well as deterrents like sunshine and garlic festivals, among the 17 total metrics.
The 10 Best — And Worst — Cities For Vampires
Some observations about the cities that would be likely to appeal to a vampiric workforce: A plethora of potential victims and blood donation centers brought big cities like New York (No. 1), Chicago (No. 2), and Philadelphia (No. 4) to the top of the ranking.
Cities across New England and the Midwest dominate the best cities ranking, thanks to lower rates of sunshine and scores of underground lairs (basements). Eight Connecticut cities in the ranking landed in the top 100 due to high historical cloud cover.
BEST CITIES FOR VAMPIRES
| 1 | New York, NY |
| 2 | Chicago, IL |
| 3 | Columbus, OH |
| 4 | Philadelphia, PA |
| 5 | Los Angeles, CA |
| 6 | Houston, TX |
| 7 | Portland, OR |
| 8 | Madison, WI |
| 9 | Seattle, WA |
| 10 | Omaha, NE |
WORST CITIES FOR VAMPIRES
| 1 | Buckeye, AZ |
| 2 | Peoria, AZ |
| 3 | Avondale, AZ |
| 4 | Goodyear, AZ |
| 5 | Flagstaff, AZ |
| 6 | Surprise, AZ |
| 7 | Yuma, AZ |
| 8 | Odessa, TX |
| 9 | Rancho Cordova, CA |
| 10 | Sparks, NV |
Source: 2023 Best and Worst Cities for Vampires, Lawn Love
Vampires aren’t the only ones who need blood: Lawn Love compiled this ranking with a goal of encouraging blood donations during the national shortage. Click here to visit the American Red Cross and find a blood drive near you!
And the locations that would not get the nod from Nosferatu? Hawaii, New Mexico, Nevada, and Idaho — the only U.S. state that has outlawed cannibalism — lurk in the bottom half due to their sunny conditions. Arizona is particularly unwelcoming to vampires: seven of its cities are in the bottom 10 with bountiful sunshine and few basements to evade the rays.
However, not all sunny cities deter vampires: Tucson (No. 159) ties with Atlanta (No. 25) for the third-highest number of vampire groups. Phoenix (No. 222) and Scottsdale (No. 417) are each home to vampire-friendly clubs.
