Trump this, Donald
Does the cube farm in your office have the population density of Shanghai?
Do you eat your lunch next to the copy machine because the nearest restaurant is five miles away?
When you plug your work address into MapQuest, do you get a response that says ”page not found?”
Well, have we got a deal for you!
According to this week’s edition of Crain’s New York Business, there currently is a whopping 54 blocks of large office space—defined as 100,000 square feet or more—available in Manhattan.
Not only that, says Crain’s, at least 15 buildings in the heart of the Big Apple are totally empty as of this writing.
Office vacancies in New York City have increased by about 35 percent during the past year. The imbalance between supply and demand is so extreme in the large-space market that rents are expected to plunge in the long term and tenants are going to be reluctant to rush into new leases in the short term, according to Crain’s report.
Struggling financial firms in the nation’s business capitol apparently are dumping space as quickly as they can lay off employees. We assume that among them are some of the characters who inflated the housing bubble until it imploded like one of those galactic cataclysms recorded by the Hubble space telescope.
Unfortunately for them, it didn’t take 14 million light years for the ramifications to show up in midtown.
Some of the fanciest addresses in the city are begging for tenants, including a gold-plated location on Park Avenue that boasts wraparound terraces, a private parking garage, and ”branding opportunities”—along with 440,000 square feet of primo office space.
We like the branding part. Already know what we’ll call the place:
”This Dump Ain’t Trump’s .” Grin and bear it, Donald.